Hate it or love it: The chemistry of hatred

Strong emotions such as hate has neuroscientists looking for clues of its origins and how it sprouts, flourishes in some cases, transfers. Hatred being one of the most common and neglected emotion is the cause of many conflicts, sometimes even violence. Fueled by hatred (or even other strong emotions in that matter) a person becomes blind and oblivious to consequences of one's action. In this pursuit of quenching our desires and emotions we take actions that we are undoubtedly to regret in the coming days because that's what happens when we are in-alert and unconscious of our inner self.

Hatred is generally the consequence of fear. Mostly people fear what they do not understand. Lack of understanding in other terms is ignorance. Also as Gautama Buddha puts it “Ignorance is not just the absence of understanding but also the presence of a false understanding or avidya.” To clear this root cause we need to look for clues and concepts of the subject at hand. Clearing the false understanding, adding to our knowledge basket the true facts and forgiveness can lead to salvation from hatred. Not expecting from others is one good way to start.

Do not expect from others, if you do, expect to be disappointed. We are not even in control of our self, or our dreams and aspirations, how can we then expect to be of control of others. When we hand the reins of our emotions to the actions of others, we are bound to be disappointed, this foolishness must stop if our quest is to lead a happy and prosperous life.

Then there is love, certain parts of the brain (specifically two) are related both with hate and love. The saying “hate and love is separated by a thin wall” holds true in many cases. While psychology is a science, no books can however encompass of the human civilization into specific category, we can though increase our level of understanding by placing each individual types into broader categories. Love is also a strong feeling as much as hate, but hatred is associated with the aggressive part more than love is.

It is true that we should never be blinded by emotions, be it either hate or love or any other emotions on that matter. It is only by mindfulness that we will truly acquire our achievement of reaching our true goals of liberation and Mokshya. The confusion and mind chatter can be ceased if we only care to stop for a moment and observe it.. in other words meditate. ;)

Have a blessed day, and I am thankful that you’d venture out till here to my blog and read it. As always, I would love to hear from you in the comments. :) Enjoy.

The great expectations

Expecting of someone is a great way to hurt yourself. By putting on our hopes in others, we put ourselves in cross hairs of being disappointed and let down. Moreover focusing on something makes its grow, like I said in the previous post feeding the thoughts make them grow. As we are engrossed into feeding our expectations, dreaming of and planning about what and how things will or should turn out, we raise our expectation higher.

When we seldom have control even of ourselves. It is like the classic example of “don’t think about penguins” which actually makes you think about those white black mammal birds. When you the one do not have control over even yourself, how can you think of controlling over others? They have their own world, problems and circumstances. Yes it is okay to inspire, coax and suggest someone; but putting on great expectation over someone is just plain foolishness.

Infact gratitude and expectations are two sides of the same coin, just as expectation leads to the path of misery, gratitude can make you feel blissful and happy.

Here is a situation, you go to a shop to buy something.. now if you think that it's the shopkeeper’s job to sell stuff, that he is there to make some bucks for himself.. you will not be grateful, instead you’ll just get the stuff and maybe even be grumpy about how he made more bucks than he should have and things like that (envious). If you however are grateful, you will realize how hard he works. You will see that he is the one who has to wait for hours for a customer to come, he has invested quite a lot in maintaining his shop and how he has been of service to you.

Being grateful however does not come along with expectations, when there are expectations, gratefulness is potato. So instead of being expectant of someone, we should try to be grateful. Even the smallest act needs to be noticed and attributed, Stephen Grellet has rightly said in his words that “We are here in this world for a while. Nice things that we can do for others that we can do or any kindness that we can show to anyone, let us do it when we can. Let us not strain from doing it, for we shall not pass this way again.” ― Stephen Grellet

Being thankful and grateful is a great way to be away from expectations. The great expectations are evil, and they tend to do no good to anyone, neither the expectant nor the expected.

Why is it hard to forgive

Often at times we find ourselves in situations that are very hard to  comprehend and even rationalize. Things go haywire and unplanned specially when someone so close to us go beyond our wildest imaginations to do something that we had never expected of them. I do not want to be specific here with examples but I am sure you understand what I am talking about, like you know someone letting you down.

So the thing is that they crossed the line, and here we are pondering upon the implications, musings arise within us thinking about how we would never had done the same to them and time and again of how they let us down. That’s the thing with thoughts, the more you feed them the more they grow. The seed of hatred once sprouted, keeps on growing for a long time unless it is tended for.

Let us now come to the point so as to why it is so very difficult to forgive. I think part of the reason why it is difficult to forgive is that we value ourselves too much. We tend to shadow others within our perception and tend to mistake our existence as the most supreme one.. “How dare they?” we often tend to think upon coming up with such misfortune.

The understanding of the universe, accepting coexistence and even merely treating others with love and compassion can bring up a spark of forgiveness within you. Embracing the whole as one, and not merely limiting yourself simply to your life form and physical restrictions can help understand better the bigger truth.

This realization can fuel up compassion and forgiveness for all.. “for they do not know they have sinned” true love for all beings can help assimilate any confusion regarding the intention of others. “You forgive only to the extent that you love” The greatest gift that we can ever give someone is forgiveness. It is only by forgiving that the vicious cycle of revenge and counter attacks come to an end, else the chakra goes on and on engraving deeper every lap that it completes.

This understanding of a true being leads to mokshya, the utter realization. Life is in the simple things after all is it not? :) So in your everyday life look for the subtle things, how easily you are annoyed, or even how hard it is to forgive. It is the simple and small things that relate to all other big and enormous things, it is only by drops that an ocean is made, there is no other way.

Forgiving is a choice, what do you choose??

I would indeed enjoy reading from you in the comments, do drop in your queries. :)

Why do you think it is so hard to forgive??
Have a wonderful day ahead.

Starting a new blog, the old one was just too tattered

Here it goes, I start off with a new blog and an new blog post. The old one at http://myviewsonstuffs.blogspot.com/ will stop from now.. it was an experiment when I was a novice internet user and has many experiments running haywire!! I decided to toss it off today after futile attempts to revive and weed out the tweaking that I had done over time.
Mostly, I required the AdSense feature, which sadly was dead for me. Apparently google blocked me for I don't really remember what reasons and as I was trying to get it back, they did not quite fancy returning it to me!! So, here I am with a new blog.
Now that I know somewhat little of the blogging platform, of the key positions in my keyboard and of many technological mumbo jumbo that goes in and around the internet, hopefully I will be able to get back. Let us see how this flares, and I hope to get all the support and love from you guys! Do drop in your suggestions and comments so that I can improve the blog and you know.. actually makes sense and also some money maybe?
I will see to it that I get tutorials here so that you too can learn and earn. For the meantime, I should probably get going.. but no first post of mine will be complete without this statement!

"Hello World!"

see you later.